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Today I watched a guy running on a tread mill while talking on his cell phone.  I don’t know about you, but I think he’s doing something wrong.  However, it could just be me.  Anyways, inspired by said douche bag here’s a test to see if your a gym douche bag.

A) Everybody brings water to work out (If you don’t you really should).

If you water container is 1 liter give yourself a point.

If your water container is 4 liter give yourself 5 points.

If you bring one of those 16 liter bottles give yourself 10 points.

B) Bringing a cell phone to a gym is probably a bad idea, basically it can get stole, crushed or lost. But in this technology driven age it’s hard for some people not to bring them. Totally understandable. Hell, I use my cell phone to tell time because watches are so 90s. Anyways:

If your texting at a rate of 1 time per set give yourself a point.

If your texting at a rate of 10 times per set give yourself 5 points.

If your talking on your phone AND texting while running, lifting weights, etc… give yourself 10 points.

C) Wearing proper shoes is important when you work out. You need proper traction and foot support especially when your lifting weights, moving with heavy weights or running on a trend mill. Also, you’ll have some protection if the unthinkable happens and a weight is dropped on your foot.

If you wear proper running shoes that are well fitting and comfortable give yourself a point.

If your wearing flip flop, sandals, or anything that is beach wear give yourself 5 points.

If your not wearing shoes at all, and going barefoot, give yourself 10 points.

D)People sweat. It’s a totally common and natural occurrence. However, some people sweat more then others and also some people have more body hair then others. Nothing to be ashamed of or worried about, however being courteous is important too. Wiping the machine down after you use is not only a nice thing to do but it is expected. Also, if your using weights putting them away is important. Leaving them around increases the chances people might get hurt by tripping on them or hurting themselves trying to move things around.

If you wipe down the machines after use and always remember to put the weights back (i.e. being courteous) give yourself a point.

If you forget to wipe down the machines after you use it and leave your weights on the floor after using them give yourself 5 points.

If you take off your shirt while your sweating like a pig and starting using the machines and then choose not to wipe the machine even after all of this, give yourself 10 points.

E) Taking breaks in between sets is important especially if your going for muscle mass and strength. Your obviously working as hard as possible pushing your body to the limit and therefore you need time to rest and recover, and also for you to catch your breath. But remember there’s also the idea of being courteous. Unless the gym is yours, people are probably waiting to use the machines your on. Never rush to finish a set, however just be aware that people are waiting.

If you take 30-120 seconds between sets give yourself a point.

If you take 5-10 minutes between sets give yourself a point.

If you leave the gym after a set, come back and demand your machine back even though you were gone for at least 20 minutes give yourself 20 points.

So, after you total all your points you should find yourself in 3 categories:

5-15 points: Congrats! Your the furthest thing from a gym douche bag. You just go in looking to get some exercise and every gym would love to have you. Other people don’t cringe when they see you coming in and they wouldn’t mind asking for your help. Did I mention your insanely handsome (if your a guy) or very pretty (if your a girl) Your a testament to our society.

16-25 points: Try harder! It’s okay, not all of us our perfect. Just remember that in the real world you don’t always get what you want, and mommy and daddy aren’t there to hold your hand all the time. And don’t worry, we’re all judging you.

26-50: Ouch! You are a douche bag! Sorry. People in your gym are hoping you hurt yourself so you never come within 10 feet of their space. You should really ask yourself why your even there? Clearly it’s not to use the gym. Sorry, there’s no cure for stupid.

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